Category Archives: Manifestos

Henry Darger Is My 2014 Inspiration

You might not have heard of Henry Darger. He was a crazy person who lived alone and interacted with nobody, and when he died, his apartment was full of this completely crazy stuff he’d created. Since then, he’s become kind … Continue reading

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2013 New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve got goals, but I don’t think they make for good resolutions. I may want to lose 35 pounds, but that’s vague. The thing to do is decide how I think I can achieve that, and resolve to take those … Continue reading

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In Defense of New Year’s Resolutions

Every year, people make New Year’s Resolutions. And every year, there are people sneering about the very idea, saying that there’s nothing special about January 1, and if you really wanted to do something, you’d just do it instead of … Continue reading

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How to Make a Million Dollars in Politics

As you may have heard, we recently had a presidential election in the United States. It was in all the papers. According to the New York Times, Barack Obama spent 852.9 million dollars and Mitt Romney spent 752.3 million. Now, … Continue reading

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First Day of School

Today is the first day of school! I don’t have a child, but I know when school starts because I live right next to an elementary school, and we have to keep track of these things so we know when … Continue reading

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A Brief Reading from the Book of the SubGenius

From page 67: The idea is to make PLAY into a paying profession¬†or Life Scam. Of course it isn’t easy¬†to break that corporate umbilical cord, but even if it pays Minimum it’s better than a high paycheck full of heart … Continue reading

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Why the Oscars Matter

Even people who love movies kind of look down on the Academy Awards. Especially the people who love movies. In fact, the more you love movies, the less you care about the Oscars. Once you’re seeing every new movie that … Continue reading

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My Entire Weight-Loss Plan

I’m not fat, exactly. But I’m a bit overweight. And there’s a part of me that wants to say the hell with it. I’m over forty; I’m allowed to be less trim and lean than I was in the glory … Continue reading

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Slant That Rhyme

A “slant rhyme” is something that’s almost, but not quite, a perfect rhyme. Like “splat” is a rhyme for “flat” and a slant rhyme for “clap.” The trick to a slant rhyme is that the vowel sounds normally stay the … Continue reading

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I Wanna Be on Wikipedia

I have long wanted to be famous. Not paparazzi-famous, but famous enough that I can go specific places and there will be people who know who I am. And it’s occurred to me that Wikipedia provides a relatively accurate measurement … Continue reading

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