Winter Storm “Gandolf,” You Say?

The first thing you need to know is that Utah is under siege by Winter Storm Gandolf.

But before that, you probably need to know that the Weather Channel has decided to start naming winter storms. They’ve got a list right here.

So. “Gandolf” is “a character in a 1896 fantasy novel in a pseudo-medieval countryside.” Because obviously they’re talking about a character from The Well at the World’s End, by William Morris. Why? Were you thinking that they meant some other Gandalf? Because that one is still covered by copyright.

In fact, there are a few other names that seem like they’re supposed to be nerd-friendly. Like “Q” for example. But this “Q” isn’t an omnipotent fop played by John de Lancie. And neither is it a winged serpent. According to their official list, it’s “The Broadway Express subway line in New York City.” And “Khan,” of course, isn’t Ricardo Montalban but Genghis. And how dare you suggest that “Draco” is a reference to young master Malfoy rather than, um, “The first legislator of Athens in Ancient Greece.”

But it’s not just geek references! There’s eventually going to be a “Winter Storm Rocky.” But it’s not a boxer. Or a flying squirrel. It’s “a single mountain in the Rockies.”

What I’m saying is that the new Winter Storm Name List is ridiculous. And none of the names are as funny as “Snowmageddon” or “Snowpocalypse.”

Anyway, I still think “Winterdammerung” is the best one. Can we use that this year? Come on! It’ll be fun!

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